Day 18

 (There are some days  like today that the light is just awful, I don't know how to explain it, but on those days I reeeaally need to make the grain dissapear)

 

''I have a feeling tonight.

This feeling has a lot to do with the fact that tonight, new year's eve, I'm staying at home while everybody's out having a great time. 

Why am I at home? Unallowance. That's how I can describe my anger. 

I think I've always had those unconvetional and very sad starts of years, I would think 'Come on, let's do if this year the best one!' Thinking that by saying that, January wouldn't suck. 

But I'm quite convinced that the beginning of a year has nothing to do with the rest of it.

This year will be tough: School is harder than ever, I'll be caged in these four walls for a very long, long time. And I need to face it. I need to make this as sweet as possible, and I need to have sure that my future will be bright.

Freedom is sweet. 

I want freedom. But I need to win it.

Meanwhile I'm writing this, my friends will be wearing their dresses and tuxedos, drinking, dancing...

It's just a party night, but it is another night added to those nights that I felt insecure, and sad.

I'm willing to change that, I hope that my parents do to.''

TODAY I FINISHED MY 52 WEEK PROJECT!

I remember that I started it last 7th January, and I can't quite believe it's ended! It is so nice, now I have 52 pictures and writings,  52 thoughts that I had all this year. This year has been magnificent. I've been in love, I travelled, I went to a summer festival, I went for my very first time to prom... He broke my heart, I want to get out of this city, I tasted the bitterness of being quite trashy.

It all has an upside and downside, I guess. But I can surely say this has been one of my bests years!

After the sun, it comes the rain, or sometimes a tornado, which I will call 2012.

Hello 2012, be gentle.

Day 17

My heart is still pumping very, very fast. For god's sake, I'm stupid as fuck, but I make myself laugh at the situations I put myself into, so GO ME! (No)

Today I wanted to do something different and better than yesterday, so there you have it! I KNOW I KNOW, I didn't use square format! Actually this picture took me a while to edit! I've found out that with these pictures I can take max 30 minutes and then spend more than an hour editing them, I just enjoy a lot editing pictures, and with these simple shots I just don't think I need more time!

I thought about making the new year's resolutions... but I'm not going to, mainly because one week after I made the resolutions I forgot which were them, plus they are always the same, the one that I put every single year is:

• Stop biting my nails.

HA! FAT CHANCE...

Day 16

MWAHAHAH, DIE LITTLE DOG TEDDY.

I know. This picture is... awful. Not only the quality but the idea, and as I'm gaining exposure it seems as if I'm taking worse shots. I promise you tomorrow I'll try and make something way prettier! Plus, today while I was taking the knife my mum started to yell at me 'WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT KNIFE?!' Mum I'm about to kill this dog teddy can't you see?!

I know. The concept is stupid the background today is awful the pose of the teddy EVERYTHING.

Summing it up: Sorry for the picture of today, consider it 'Me being stupid'.

I was about to write this post when I decided to see if my work got accepted on 'Get inspired! Magazine'.

And...

 

MY WORK GOT FEATUREEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD!

I'm extremely happy because I didn't know if they were going to accept my work or not. Click here to see the article!

Oh my. I'm so glad!

Today I went out with Laury and did nothing special, we just wandered around going nowhere, but we had fun, plus leaving my house is always welcome!

And than you for the lovely comments here on blogspot! I'm still  figuring out how to answer them here... I know I'm so dumb.

Day 15

You might start thinking 'When are all these plain wall shots gonna end?' The answer is probably 'When I have my camera back'. Why? Well. For me is possible to edit all the elements on this picture in order to look as if they have more 'definition' but I'm unable to do so with backgrounds in the picture, so there you have the explanation!

Today I didn't do nothing, but to move the christmas tree  throughout all the house while my mum was yelling at me. It was a CHAOS. I took mugs, scarfs, hats, umbrellas, trophies... EVERYTHING.And finally I decided not to include most of the elements in the shot.

Today I had to study maths, but I just was about to start a very hard part of maths and I decided that it was better to, you know, procrastinate all day without doing anything. And this is what I did. And now I feel as if I wasted a day. OH WELL.

Day 14

Winter depression: May consist of difficulty waking up in the morning, morning sickness, tendency to oversleep and over eat, especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain. Other symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on or completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities. All of this leads to the depression, pessimistic feelings of hopelessness, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder.” -Wikipedia

And winter depression is what I intended to symbolize with this picture! Today I forced myself to go out in order to avoid this 'winter depression'.When I read those words on wikipedia I felt completely identified by them, I have winter depression, and I know a lot of people do! But today when I woke up I did all the things I had to do, and I didn't feel like, but I rejected the thought of staying at home wasting another day, so I went out with Manu and Patricia and had churros (As always). It was necessary for me to go out and feel the activity and to meet with a lot of friends while I was walking. Winter depression is like being half dead, I think today I felt alive. Will tomorrow come again this winter depression? Who knows!

A special thanks to Naucha and Frania for the lovely encouraging messages they've left in this post. 

The reason why I was so discouraged is that I saw this girl who started photography at the same time as me and has my age, and she's so talentd, and her pictures are so professional, and in comparison mine are crappy so I thought (And I still do but I'm getting over it) that I have 0 talent and that I wish I was as good as her.

Day 13

This is what happens when you don't feel like taking a picture because you're fucked over but you are holding a 365 days challenge thus you must take a picture every single day.

It's hard to see your dreams acomplished in another person.

That is the conclusion I took from yesterday night.

I find myself completely, utterly and irrevocably discouraged.

Maybe I am too into photography, and this is a lesson that I need to understand. There will always be someone way, way better than you. And you can do two things:

• Discourage yourself and think you are leading to nowhere because you have no talent in comparison.
• Work hard, very hard, harder than anyone else even though they are all miles away from you.

The second option sounds better, but I might stay in the first one for a little one. I don't feel like taking pictures now, I just feel like editing old stuff and work as hard as I can in every single self-portrait. As you can see the picture of today is crap, but it's hard to take the best of you if you don't feel like anymore.

The plans of today are no better: I need to start studying maths. God. This is so crap.

PS: I know. Not even the colours reflect my mood. I might be the worst artist in the world. If I am at all.

Day 12

 Shine, and only you know how to lift my spirit off the ground  and chase those clouds away, shine on me today.

Hello everyone and Merry Christmas again!

I got several things last night, and I'm willing to show you them!

The picture of today reflects more or less what I feel  when I listen to a song that I really really like. Most of the times it's not a whole song, but just a part, maybe some seconds, a guitar solo, some violins, a sentence, a rythm. But when I find it and I hear it I feel like flying. Sometimes I like spending time alone, not going out with my friends or staying with my family, but I'm not completely alone, if you have music in your life I don't think you'll ever be alone. 

If you ask me if my hobbie is music I'd say that it isn't. Music is not a hobbie, music is something that has been with me my whole life. I don't know how to explain it! The sentence that I've first written comes from 'Shine' by Hilary Duff, I was listening to that song while I was posting this picture and I thought it fitted perfectly so there you go!

 

 

• Some tight jeans that I wanted to have so bad.
• A Mafalda book with every single comic!
• THE BAMBOO WACOM TABLET! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Being honest, I knew I was going to have the tablet because I had to buy it myself... (My mum didn't know what the heck was a graphic tablet) BUT OH WELL! I'm so happy and I'm already learning some stuff with it. As I've heard somewhere it's like the bike and the car, once you learn how to drive the car it's way better than driving the bike, SO I'LL KEEP PRACTISING!

 

Day 11

24th december: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Every year I dream of one of those typical Christma's eve, you know, the ones you see in the TV, but as every year, I don't have one of those Christmas, my Christmas consists of my closest family, that is one of the biggest downsides of living abroad, but hey what can I do?

One day, I'll be able to have the Christmas eve I really want!

Today with my brother we did a Cheesecake for tonight:

 

This is it! (Wait, it is not yet decorated, so it won't look like that!)

  

My brother has my picture as wallpaper, GO HIM!

Day 10

YAY!

I don't know how I made it but I can't believe I'm actually proud of a picture that I've made with the oh-so-automatic Sony DSC-W180 so I'm very VERY glad because of that.

Today... Today has been a very very tiring day, really. Pshycollogically speaking.I don't feel like talking about it...

Today I went to the cinema with Bea and Laury, and we saw 'New Year's Eve'. Yeah, it might be the most typical film of all times, but it is nice to spend the afternoon avoiding ugly thoughts of undesirable facts.

I do have pictures of today, but I'm just too tired to do anything else.

Day 9

Today is being a crappy day.

Why? I don't know... Maybe it is because today I didn't manage to take any decent shot, because I just feel uninspired with this camera. I still don't get used to it and what's more, my attitude it's not very 'welcoming' to develop new ideas with this camera, I just think like 'Hey, I can save this idea for when I have my camera back' which will lead mainly to me spoiling this blog with some awful pictures throughout all the winter break. :(

Anyways! This picture is from today, when I took Luna for a walk. I felt as if I needed to take pictures of this moment because taking my dog for a walk is one of the things I've done the most till I was 11.We always go to the same place because she's fat and lazy and I'm sooo lazy as well!

Later I spent like a lot of time trying to make a 'calendar' for my family, then when I had to get it printed I thought that the price for picture would be 5 euros more or less... and they are like 12 euros. Yeah guys, I'd have to spend like 60 euros and I don't think that anyone'd get happy if I had to spend all that money on a calendar, SO MISSION ABORTED. Which means that I have no Christmas present for my family. I feel like a bitch now. Now I'm spending the whole day at my house 'cause I must take care of my little sister since my mother isn't here today. BLAAAAAAAAH.

 

Hello Luna!

 

Day 8

As you can see, I'm uploading this day at 3:19 AM. This late night hours are vital when I need to keep all my stuff done, because as days as today I just don't have time to edit all the pictures troughout the day! This picture is from one of the books I rented from the public library, it shows a lot of National Geographic pictures and I rented it because I really want to see more pictures, to find inspiring stuff that can help me to improve. The quality isn't much.... What can I do....

Today I woke up at 9, and I went to school to see my marks which came good, I didn't expect less having studied like MAD. Then I went quickly to the Sony shop. I needed to know the problem of my camera, I was worried.And I've got new information:

Good new:

1. THE GUARANTEE COVERS THE REPAIR! FUCKING YES.

 Bad new:

1. The guy said the camera MIGHT be ready in... a couple of weeks, which means I have to spend almost all my winter break with my crappy brother's camera which keep making weird noises and I think it's going to break at any moment.

I'm quite frustrated at this, I mean, it wasn't my fault that this camera is broken, and yet I'm the one who has to pay the 'punishment': No Sony Alpha 33 this break. I mean, I don't even want to start thinking about that because I've spent all the term for this moment to come just to have time to take pictures and... well....

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK.

Then when I knew all that stuff I went with my mum to the supermarket and she bought me an orange juice (Go orange juice!) and then we went to buy my Christmas' present... I know it's stupid but I won't tell what is it until 25th December!

At 5 PM I went to french classes and later I was chilling at my house when unexpectedly Manu, Roci and Patricia came to my house, we did the following things:

• Talk
• Play COD
• Insult eachother
• Play the guitar
• Gossip all that I have in my room
• Take pictures
• Kick me
• Play the music so loud
• Tweet saying how we hate eachother
• Eat butter biscuits
• Mistreat me with a slingshot 

LOVELY STUFF...

 

My brother's camera. We better get on because we're unfortunately gonna spend a long time together...

 

My desk is always a mess. Always. 

 

LUNA!

 

We spent the whole time being stupid.

Day 7

 

Today my 365 has had an unexpected and negative twist:

Today was the last school day, and we almost did nothing plus I've arrived late 'cause I fell asleep at home.
Later we went with all the class to eat at the 'Pink Panther' which is a place in where they serve HUGE sandwiches and whatnot. At the end of it, the waiter invited us to a shot and it was disgusting, but HEY!
Anyways. After that most of the class wanted to go to a bar to drink, which is something that I don't really fancy, but I didn't mind going to a pub, but as it's usual, at 4 PM every pub was closed, so we all headed to a square.
Once there I started to take lots of pictures of Isa (I went mental) and she patiently posed for me like 321878391273219 of times while the rest was wondering how many pictures I took of Isa.
And then later I was about to take a picture when it happened.
My camera just went off and I cannot find a way to make it 'come to life'.
I was desesperate and I cried a little bit, because I just couldn't believe how that could ever happen, taking a FULL care of my camera in order for that NOT to happen.
I went to a photo store but they had no fucking clue what happened, so tomorrow I'm going to  a specialised center.
You guys can't believe how much this has discouraged me througout the day, because the thought of this being my third camera and being very expensive plus I am in the 365 days project made me sick.I then started to wonder... why if my camera can't be fixed? It would be my very end.
I didn't know what to do but now I do.
I wrote a journal in deviantART telling everyone my problem, and the warm comments that I have received stunned me.
Then I realized I couldn't stop this project because DAMN, I so fucking want to finish it, without having to skip days or doing weird stuff.
So I am continuing the project, I am showing myself not to give up, I am going to prove how it doesn't matter what camera you use, you can still do a project.
This is just the beginning. Keep tuned.

 

 This might be the best  Laury's shot, ever.

This is Juanfrixx, he posed for me a few times, but I like this shot because it shows his true personality: He's always smiling and laughing.

One of the tons of HUGE sandwiches most of my class decided to eat.

 

 

Day 6

Today's picture was going to be another photo-manipulation but as I was editing the picture I've found out that I still lack of enough Photoshop skills to complete that task, so there you have me.

I have a problem with my self-portaits and it is that I get SO sick and tired of them at a very short period ot time wether it is for the edit, the pose, the face, whatever. I just don't feel like uploading much self-portaits which are only focused on my face anywhere 'cause it is something I need to work on quite a lot.

ANYWAYS!

Today has been quite a relaxing day at school, we gave presents to eachother in class because we did like a 'game' or however you might call it in which you have to give a present to a class partner and she/he doesn't have to know who the person is until the present is given. And I got an AMAZING DANCING SANTA CLAUS which was a lovely present from Isa. It makes me giggle. A lot.

(Click on it to see it dance!)

It had sweets in it! 

Later I took pictures on my parents room (Where the light is better) and later I saw my doggy sleeping all wrapped up in a blanket and I couldn't stop thinking how sweet she was!

 

SHE'S SO FUCKING CUTE.

Later I had my last English class 'til next term starts and I ate some butter biscuits with my English teacher, I also gave her a box of chocolates and for my surprise she gave me a box with butter scottish biscuits, GO HER!

 

The biscuits we ate and the box of chocolates all wrapped up!

Day 5

Today Pierre Bouvier (My teddy) decided to try out my clothes and pose for me, such a helpful lovely teddy bear he is! 

Sundays are depressing as fuck. No wonder why there's a song called 'Bloody Sundays'. Today I don't really feel like doing anything, but despite that, I have to do everything :

• Do homework

• Wash my doggy.

Okay. There are just two things that I must do but gosh, I feel like doing nothing. Today I've spent the whole day watching tutorials and photography tips and I thought about doing an 'inspirational' folder on the de. sktop once I finished this post, but I need to do that stuff. BLAAH SUNDAYS.

Day 4

I have the new photo blogger uploader so I can submit bigger pictures, yaaaaaaay!

Today I woke up kinda late and Manu rang me, I talked a little bit with him and later I took my doggy for a walk.

At midday I really wanted to make some kind of photo-manipulation so I did a lot of shots, most of them with the help of my sister (She's the best assistant ever) and I took forever to edit this picture, I thought the result was going to be quite horrible and to be honest I was very proud of the outcome but  I should really start to ignore the useless criticism of people that is not interested in photography, because now I don't think this picture was as cool as I thought it was before I've heard some critiquism of it. 

I think criticism is always welcome as long as it has a basis which can help you to improve, if not, it's kinda rubbish and useless.

Anyways! Later I went out with Manu and Patricia, and we went to eat churros and Roci and Lucía came. I don't know, we walked  a little bit and that's it!

I've just seen in the Vogue page that you can submit your pictures and if they are good enough, they might get featured in the magazine, but I'm not even going to share my pictures because I think they don't fit the 'mood' of Vogue.

This is another silly picture from today, indeed, mirror shot!

Day 3At the moment I feel excited/inspired/talkative/sleepy after a long day which I'm gonna divide into three parts shall we?

• Morning:

At PE we did some weird test called 'Cooper' test, actually I didn't do it, just ran normally. Later I had economics, and as a surprise of this new year, I like economics, I find it very interesting and I think it's very practical as well. At French we saw 'Little Einsteins', worst thing is not that we had to watch 50 minutes of little kiddos with their loud and high-pitched voices getting high at everything, but we had to watch the same episode in English, indeed, we watch it all over again, but in French (kill me). Now comes a very funny part because at the break we went to the street and there was this woman giving out tickets for free sweets. They were giving sweets away guys. When does that ever happen?! Later we went to see a lot of christmas stuff and then we went home, so I can assure that today I just had a productive hour at school.

Midday-Afternoon:
I arrived home, ate and then took a nap which lasted forever and when I woke up I had to bring my sister to art classes and I noticed that I was late when I was in the middle of taking a shower, thus I ended up on the street running with my sister with all the hair wet and shouting. Nice. Later I met up with Laury, Bea and Paloma, because today is Bea's birthday! We exchanged presents (I have her a bracelet and a My Chemical Romance t-shirt and she gave me this very weird green ball, a slingshot which is also a pencil and a bracelet too!) and I did one of those awful and stupid mistakes you want to slap yourself: I thought I had charged my battery but it was almost over... Which meant I could just take a few shots and one of them must be the picture of the day and then we had dinner at McDonald's Anyways, I took like 10 pictures of bokeh of Christmas' street lighting and just a picture of Bea looking at a lighting snowman, yes, this picture. I don't know, Bea might as well kill me for this but HEY Bea thank you for posing and look, you look very interesting and mysterious!

• Night:
  

I watched some tutorials and as always they made me feel like taking tons and tons of pictures, then I watched with my mum 'Love actually' in English without subtitles so my mum didn't understand a thing. I must say the stories in Love Actually are so beautiful and surreal that will give me high expectations, just sayin'.

Day 2

Today has been quite a normal day, I went to school and had a little bit of fun and a little bit of boredom as usual, and at every single class I was wondering what picture would I take today. As you can see, the outcome is kinda crap, but I've been wandering round my house trying to figure out what to take pictures at, I took some shots but none of them convinced me, so I took this self-portrait and I edited it, even though Im not very content with the outcome today I've been quite bussy and that's all I could do!
When I finished taking this picture I did some french homework, and then headed to french classes, stood there for two hours and came home, now I'm listening to 'Pieces' by Sum 41 while I relax, I think I have some school homework to do but to be honest I can't really be arsed!

Day 1

Today is my birthday!
With sixteen years old, I don't think of me as a very mature person, but I'm kinda proud of myself, which is really what counts at the end. One year ago, I got for birthday present a camera, and it was one of the best presents ever (The other best present was my dog!).
The picture is a kind of... I don't know how to explain it, but the touch of it is awesome.It still has no name, nor sex, but it has already become the sensation in all my class, they all wanted to touch it and some of them wants to buy one! Since it has no name, I call him 'Moco' which is boggie in Spanish, it was one of the two gifts from Laury.
Today has been quite an intensive day:
At school people wished me happy birthday, and one of my besties Laury gave me some presents, but appart from that it was a rather boring school day. Then later I arrived home and started to take the pictures from today but most of them were turning out very crap, so I was very very nervous! Finally I found this picture and I was kinda satisfied for the outcome (I can't ask for more if I almost didn't have time for taking pictures/editing).
I answered some e-mails and messages and headed to french classes, once they were ended I came home and started to edit pictures, later Antonio, who is also one of my bestfriends rang my door and he invited me to eat, we had fun!
Now I'm waiting my father to come while my mum is cooking some dishes for the dinner, then we'll have the presents and my day will be over! I guess we can all be special just once in a year, am I wrong?

More pictures from today:

This is my birthday cake! (Not decorated yet) It's called 'torta de chocolinas' and it's an argentinian very yummy dish.

I love spaghettis! I asked my mum for some because of my birthday, at home we always get to choose which dish we want to eat!

What I got:

• A kind of scarf which has a loudspeaker in it.
• Money (I want a new objective so bad!)
• A pillow with a dog face (Gift from Laury)
• And moco.