In a matter of days I will be starting this project. I've been wondering if I will be able to keep it and to continue it non-stopping until September. It wouldn't be the first time I actually take 100 pictures in a row it's just that this year I've been so self-demaning it frightens me I might as well give everything up once Summer stars. It scares me to think there won't be no rest throughout the whole year...But I'd feel wasted if it wasn't this way.

Two toasts and a coffee. Wearing a long tracksuit and disheveled hair, as well as disheveled thoughts. 

Once you start to get used to peace it's hard to burst it. And I won't even hesitate if I have to, but my conscience is something I'm always struggling with. It's always wanting to do things and it won't even stay a single day without being all hassled for my thoughts.

I just want to be happy. Mediocrely happy. Without thinking that I have to spend the whole day doing stuff but exams are about to come and I don't need to lose my target now that everything is so close to its end. There's no point at giving up now, I have to start the frenzy once again, and put some batteries to my heart.

I've realized that I have an issue with myself. 

After a whole year which my main activity would consist of tons of hours wasted in front of books I forgot about a lot of things I've learnt about photography. And I'm not talking about the technical part.

I almost forgot what it was like to take pictures for pleasure, without any pressure or without thinking what might other people thing of my artwork. There came a day that, without noticing, I would think more about the repercussion of my pictures that the pictures themselves. I forgot how much I got inspired my other artists, how I followed their work and how I used to think 'Hey, I'd love to be like them!' but with an halo of positivism which I don't own at this moment. I think I just have to start right from the beginning and once again with everything that has to do with photography. That is why on June 1st I am finally starting my 100 days of summer project.

So I guess I finally realized what I should have known long time ago.

I guess when you start taking pictures, you do it for yourself. You actually are amused by taking some simple shots and then, if you are feeling even more bored, upload them to the web and have some fun. But while the time is passing and you're gaining attention, without wanting to, you start to stop doing pictures for yourself and you do everything for people to like it.

And it's such a mess. Because there comes a time when you are in awe. Lost. Desperate.

And wondering what is that hole that you have within your soul that don't let you be in peace with your art. And then you find it. 

And you need a solution. You need to start once again.

(100) Days of Summer.