So today is one of the days I want to write without thinking why and just spilling some random thoughts about life and my present self.

I've always had this passion for recording my daily grind: It is like that when I'm about to turn 19 years and it has been that way when I was 7 and I recorded myself while I was reading the news to my old webcam. And sometimes I wonder where and with who I will be in the next 5 years, and I just have no idea how much I will develop in photography, fitness, happiness, friendship or any other issue but I'm glad that it has been the way it had, and I'm glad I have thousands of pictures, hundred of posts, more than 15 social networks and random pictures and videos taken with my webcam because memories are priceless and all the pictures and videos I have are a reflection of my growth. And when I see myself with 9 years reading the dictionary in English and trying to pronounce every sylable, when I flickr through my self-portraits when I was 13 and I decided it was time to make some self-portraits while studying, when I see every little glimpse of my life I decided to record... I couldn't be happier that I'm doing this.

Hoy es uno de los días que quiero escribir sin pensar por qué y simplemente derramar algunos pensamientos al azar sobre la vida y mi yo presente.

Siempre he tenido esta pasión por el registro de mi rutina diaria : Es así ahora que estoy a punto de cumplir 19 años y ha sido de la misma manera cuando yo tenía siete años y me grabé a mí misma mientras leía las noticias a mi vieja webcam . Y a veces me pregunto ¿Dónde y qué voy a estar haciendo en los próximos 5 años? Y no tengo ni idea cuánto se desarrollará mi fotografía, la salud, la felicidad , la amistad o cualquier otro tema,  pero me alegro de que haya sido de la forma que ha sido, y me alegro de que tenga miles de fotos , cientos de posts , más de 15 redes sociales e imágenes aleatorias y de vídeos tomadas con mi cámara web. Porque los recuerdos no tienen precio y todas las imágenes y vídeos que tengo son un reflejo de mi crecimiento.Y cuando me veo a mí misma con 9 años leyendo el diccionario de Inglés y tratando de pronunciar cada sílaba, ojeando mis autorretratos de cuando tenía 13 años y decidí que era de hacer algo mientras estudiaba, cuando veo cada destello de mi vida que decidí grabar... yo no podría estar más feliz que yo estoy haciendo esto.

The truth he whispered caught her unaware.

As if she tried avoiding it all this time, as if the thought flashed trough her mind billions of times. As a hidden reality, as a fairy tale she never succeeded to believe.

Being plunged into a constant silence, a cold hug and some hollow words that reality stroke her as distant and utopic. 

But there they were, and even though the words he whispered were too beautiful to be true, it turned out to be that once again reality surpassed fiction.

La verdad que él susurró la pilló desprevenida. 

Como si hubiese intentado evitarla todo este tiempo, como si ese pensamiento hubiese pasado por su cabeza billones de veces pero de manera fugaz y repentina. Como una realidad encubierta, como un cuento de hadas en el que no llegaba a creer.

Habiendo estado sumida en un silencio constante, un abrazo frío y unas palabras huecas aquella realidad se le antojaba distante y utópica.

Pero ahí estaban, y aunque las palabras que susurró eran demasiado bonitas para ser verdad resultó ser que otra vez la realidad superó la ficción.

My first model photo-shoot

It was at the beginning of September after a long Summer abandoning photography. I was exhausted and I felt that I needed to relax and that's what I did. And man didn't if feel good? The thing is, on September I decided to do something I always promised myself to do: A photo-shooting to a model, and that is how I contacted Valeria Lazareva and the rest is what you can see right here.

It was a good summer afternoon, not too hot nor cold. Between the sea and the promenade, my pictures were taken.

52 weeks project?

So I write it here because is just a thought I'm having and it might not develop but I don't have as much people reading my blog as other sites so here goes my idea of opening a 52 weeks project as I did when I got my first DSLR, but this time just with self-portraits. Oh I remember how much I improved and how happy was I when I finished it. I would love to have this experience once again but I have to think carefully about it.

And that's all I had to say.

There comes some days when you know that just something isn't right. But man, how hard it is to know what something it is. Is it yourself? Your way of thinking? The surroundings or luck? Why things happened the way they did and why I feel so overwhelmed with things I'm unable to control? We live in a world surrounded by people, lives and relationships that can hurt because at anytime of our path they healed or eased our way... sometimes I would love to just disconnect. And forget.

And we look at films, read books and sing songs wishing that our lives were as good as those, when it actually is. It's just not a combination of shots with a beautiful BSO and well-written dialogue, it's not a flashback or a good plot with perfect characters... but when you find out that what you have is better that the films, louder than the songs and less fictional than books is when you are prepared to truly love.

Y vemos las películas, leemos libros y cantamos canciones esperando que nuestras vidas fuesen tan buenas como aquellas, cuando lo es en realidad. Simplemente no es una combinación de planos con una banda sonora bonita y un diálogo bien escrito, no es un flashback o un buen guión con personajes perfectos... pero cuando te das cuenta de que lo que tienes es mejor que las películas, más alto que las canciones y menos ficticio que los libros es cuando estás preparado para amar.

It’s been ages since I picked up the camera just for the pleasure of it:          I decided it was the right time, the right light and after a day of stress and amusement I took some self portraits that are quite different from my normal work, but that I like nonetheless. That is photography for me: To want to do it and not to feel pressured for it. To feel the picture and grow with every shot.

Hace años desde que cogía la cámara simplemente por placer: Decidí que era la ocasión correcta, la luz correcta después de un día de estrés y entretenimiento saqué algunos autoretratos que son bastante diferentes de mi trabajo normal, pero que sin embargo me gusta. Eso es la fotografía para mi: Querer hacerlo y no sentirme presionado por ello. Sentir la foto y crecer con cada toma.

Tonight I wanted to share some thoughts exclusively to my blog. Because I just felt like, so here I am.

I'm liking this Summer, it's being nice and amazing to disconnect and connect with new experiences and feelings. I moved and I've never travelled so frequently on bus as well as I've never walked that much on a daily routine. And in moments like this, when I'm about to edit some pictures I decided to take after I arrived home from having spent the whole day with my friends, knowing that tomorrow a lovely Sunday awaits with my dearly beloved I find out that life shouldn't be that hard. 

Everyone knows that these moments are special, when you are alone by yourself but you feel fulfilled by your past and future while your present is just fine.

And I'm thankful for that.

Summertime

''The photographer and the photographed'

Summer has started some weeks ago and even though I didn't have time or energy after this first university year, I always feel as if I need to take pictures, to upload my blog, to record videos... But sometimes in our lives even though you're passionate about something, you don't actually feel like doing it because your mind is somewhere else, seeking for peace and quietness.  That doesn't mean I'm not into photography, I'm in love with this as I've always been. I just need to relax and charge my inner battery.

It's not what you desired, but it's what it has to be. You're going in a total different direction and sometimes it just feels wrong to let go but it's the only way you can actually be happy.

It hurts, but sometimes it's worth it. It's surprising and unusual, yet one could see that coming looking closely. What should I do? Where should I go? No matter how clear the answer is, I'm not brave enough to face my reality. Life is a highway and sometimes a downfall.

This before/after is not new. It actually has 3 or 4 years (Damn, when I think of it I get shivers on my bones, it's been that long?) but it's still one of the pictures I'm most proud of. 

It took me hours and hours to copy and paste every post-it in order to have this result but the outcome was exactly what I wanted it to be, and it showed what I wanted to show.

I was 15 years old and it still seems like yesterday: I just had finished exams and needed to visually explain how I felt those days and I just went to this not-so-light wall and did it. And I was so proud of it.

There is no more point to tell this but to remind myself what photography actually is:

Explaining your thoughts and life by creating some images that words would fail to explain.

Excuse my relative absence.

Or more than absence, excuse me while I try to balance studies, photography and a healthy life involving sports and food.
It's kinda hard to find the perfect mix between these things, but all of them are needed. I need to edit pictures without those hours taking away all my study time. I need to study and take pictures without that forgiving me to do sport. It's hard and sometimes it's nervous-wrecking. There are days where I don't actually have time to calm down, and some other days where I barely sleep doing everything I want (Or need, because I can't stay calmed without feeling as if I'm wasting my time). And I'd love to do so many things: Projects, polls, contests, blog entries... But time is just ticking and I have to do tons of things. I cannot be perfect, as none of us can, but I'm trying my best to keep on track with everything.
Exams are on the way, spring has sprung, days are longer... and so is the work.

Running and scared, being alone at the woods have never been more difficult. The light is about to set and there is no place to hide. Why isn't there a way to escape? No matter how harshly you look for, there isn't any evidence of exit. Why can't I move? What is holding me, chaining my soul from running and being free? 

I'm tangled, and I'm the only responsible for that.

Drawing by Sean Hales

This Friday, I bring you this lovely drawing by Sean Hales.

You should totally check his Facebook page out because not only does he upload his artwork (Which is already stunning) but the whole process so you can see every week in your dashboard how a drawing is being made, thus eager to see the final result!

You're always looking for that sunrray to hit your skin, that gentle light when you're in the shadow... It was so easy. You just had to look around you and everything would be covered with the most beautiful colors. The blessing of the daylight was marvelous, and at night you would have tons of candles illuminating your path in order to guide you home. But what happens when you find yourself surrounded by all the darkness and no one can seem to shine for you? You can no longer see the path ahead from you, or glance at the past because darkness prohibits you to see clearly. There are no longer shadows because the sun is inexistent, they are no longer shapes or optimism because you're unable to see anything. You are blind from every little spark that might lighten your life.

You can't do anything but to learn to accept yourself, and shine in your name.

Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! 

Forget the past, the people you used to love and your rusty personality.

It's time to keep going, to sail and never look at that shore again. Some days the water will be calm, some other days you wish you had stayed at home. The waves crashing into your skin will make you shiver, the ship will be tumbling down without faith. 

Be my anchor, my one and only security. Let's be safe and sound in the sea of chaos and broken relationships.

Because sometimes, we should sail and stop listening to those mermaids that we stumble upon.

Guide to this blog!

Here you have a little and humble way to keep you going in this blog

enjoy your stay! :)

Drawing by Rohit Hela

I thought I should use my blog more often, to actually explain my journey to whoever who wants to read it, that doesn't only involve me but everyone whose artistic paths comes across with mine.
This is the case of Rohit Hela, an artist who once stunned me with his version of my picture 'Fire and water cataclysm' and that some days ago contacted me because his work was being exhibited and he wanted to use that drawing for showcasing his art.
It was more than an honor to me,  congrats Rohit!!

My picture doesn't actually have this settings... what on earth?!

Kind of hopeless and tired but without regret.

Profound enemy of the 'What if'

Nemesis of laziness.

Lost.

It's monday morning but so what?

I felt like writing, like telling that spring it's about to come, that it's a brand new day and that I want to do so many things... I want to climb 'till I get to heaven, I want to develop every tiny part of me, I want to keep being optimistic the rest of my life.

Good morning!

I am not that kind of artist, though.

I don't look artsy and the opportunities are almost null. I don't have 1028312 followers, or a fancy surrounding.

I don't come from above, I don't have a gift.

I just have a passion and any other mean that an usual teenage has.

If I ever arrive higher, better, more successful and more beautiful, I have the blessing of knowing that it was because I started from scratch and made my best effort, and not because I had luck and I was gifted.

This is the story of an usual teenager with a camera, I'm not a cool kid, I'm just a normal me.

Thank you for reading my words.

Reality in a hurricane of thoughts.

I'm the reality in a hurricane of thoughts. The mind passing by and leaving every path that shared to keep moving on alone. I'm an uncertain future, a playing card before we see its value. I'm the hourglass falling and the clock ticking. I'm the reflection of the obsession, the impossible mixture between ecstasy and laziness. I'm the desire of being alone, but hating it.  I am the result of the collision of millions of dreams

I have so many ideas in mind, I try so hard not to fight with my own demon and letting it all flow... Success isn't a matter of patience and hours, it's a matter of strength and innovation.