Day 120

Quite similar to this picture, but with a whole different emotion.

Today I decided to make an instagram, because... erm. Okay, I know it's quite pointless to have an instagram when I already have 382173291 pages to showcast my pictures, but I don't know, it's silly so I like it, my instagram is Guadalapeluda by the way!

Besides that...

TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!

(Now I have like three weeks of just exams, which will be similar to doomsday)

I'd also like to tell you that tomorrow I won't be uploading any picture because I'm going to Barcelona to do some stuff and I won't be in my city for the whole day, when I come back, on Friday, I'll have plenty of things to study, PLENTY, so I don't actually know when I will be posting pictures again, but don't worry, I'll get you all noticed of that on Friday, I won't do like that time that I left without saying anything, I feel so guilty!

Today I'm really tired, I had my last french class and studied a little bit. I'm sooooooooo lazy lately...

Day 119

This picture took me forever to edit because:

1. I didn't know what feeling I wanted to give to the picture, at the end I thought that I wanted to give it a sad and quite scary feeling. Yes. You can see how this is almost the opposite.

2. I didn't know what colour to use with make-up and hair, I made 0123983213210 combinations and refused to use natural colours.

3. I didn't know what to do with the background, I cropped the picture several times and put a lot of textures which all failed epically.

So yes. This is the result. It reminds me of Katy Perry for some reason, but there you have it. I wonder if you're not getting a little bit fed up of my self-portraits? I'd love to bring a lot of landscapes, macros or portraits of other people, but these days are being crazy, I'm almost finishing the last term of the year and I'm almost panicked!              Today I'm reaaaaally tired. We did a lot of things at school such as giving some presents to our class tutor (Flowers, bombons, a picture of us), I also did the last French exam of all year and when I came home I studied like mad. Later I went to maths classes and couldn't stop giggling because my mate is seriously crazy, and later I did some more work and some homework. Then I struggled forever with the edition of this picture and had a shower. C'est tout!

Day 118

''L'amore è femmina, we non riceve non si da
 La prendo comoda calcolo le possibilità...
Quello che vuoi  s e non ce l'hai siamo tutti insoddisfatti, come mai?

Ma che caldo fa!
 Confesserò che no mi perdo niente, navvero, ho immaginato noi due solo col pensiero...''

-Nina Zilli

Since I've heard this song for the first time at Eurovision I totally loved it, it's so upbeat! It makes me feel really happy everytime I listen to it, and I guess that this picture is actually influenced by the song, in some way. Some of you might be wondering how come I'm lately using a lot of fruits, the answer is simple; I take the picture in a rush just after dinner so I take the fruit I'm going to eat, take the picture and then eat it quickly! There's nothing else I can do with exams next week. Oh well.

Today when I woke up I sensed today would be a quite horrible day, but it ended up being quite a good one. Why? I don't know. 

Day 117

It took almost three hours to edit this picture, which is like a sin considering I'm almost entering in which is likely to be the deathliest week of all the schoolyear. The absolute final exams. 

But today I wasn't really into studying. I don't know where I was a matter of fact, I got quite nervous (And I still am) because I don't fully understand maths, and I've studied economics and biology, but not as accurate as I usually study every single page. But oh well. I guess sometimes we're more efficient than other days, right?

Day 116

''Scattered throughout my hair, heart pumping fast and wide grin.

 Today I woke up with the scent of his perfume, just as I did back then, but the situation is way different.

So comely, so perfect, it used to betwich me, now it haunts me.''

Today, hasn't been a good day. My dad got angry with me, I had to study but it was almost impossible, I had too many pessimistic thoughts on my mind to do so. Finally, I ended up with my friends on the street because today was Paloma's birthday and my mood got substantially better, we went for a walk near the beach and I regretted not having brought the camera. Later, I watched Eurovision on the TV, and suddenly an old friend of mine decided to call me and I talked to him by phone for the first time in 5 years, it was lovely.

Day 115

So today's pictures have nothing to do with my current mood.

I'd write paragraphs, chapters, a whole book if you feel like, explaining everything that is going inside my mind, every memory I'm trying so hard to forget and every fact that shows me that nothing is like it was before. But I won't. 

I just have to forget and enjoy my life. I'm just sixteen years old, I shouldn't be worrying about anything or anyone. Because us, as people, are valuable, and we must notice when someone is worth the effort and when it isn't. But how long does it take, until we really notice that we're just wasting time? I must save glances, thoughts, words, conversations to someone who's really worth the damn. 

I want a potion to forget.

Pictures:

Even though kiwi's pictures are originally taken because of their lovely green colour, I decided to upload a black and white self-portait, because I actually liked it and I wanted to vary a little bit.

Day 114

Today's picture has a logical explanation. The explanation is that the days that I've been out the project, I've taken pictures too and I thought that I should upload them, so I take today's day to upload a picture that I've taken while I was off. Confused? Never you mind. Just look at the picture!

Today I had to do quite a lot of things such as:

• Study biology
• Study maths
• Study economics
• Go to french classes
• Do french homework
• Study PE
• Buy water balloons

And the bad thing was, that I was too lazy to do any of them, despite that I did everything I had to do but... quite badly. I'm just fed up with school! I want it to end right now, but I don't like the fact of not seeing my classmates everyday for almost three months, oh well, every rose has its thorn!

Day 113

Ohh gosh, my eyes are aching! I have conjunctivitis so my glance looks very tired and I feel as if I've woken up from a nap even though I haven't. 

Today has been a really long day at school (Specially the lasts hours) so I came home in a zombie mode and quite frankly I didn't feel like doing anything. So I took a pear and started to take pictures with it. What I like about the picture is that I've finally managed to focus the main object (The pear) in order to look totally sharpened, yaaay! I also tried to vary a little bit of facial expression so there you have a half-smile, which is really hard to see on my self-portraits even though I'm constantly smiling.

Today I went to french classes and then came home and studied biology, maths and economics. I love economics, so I'm quite pleased with the thought of keeping studying them once I'm at university.

Day 112

Okay. So you might think this is boring, but as a matter of fact, the first time I saw this, I got kinda shocked.

This is a map that I bought in Candem Town, when I was in London. In this map, which is all golden (I put a black and white effect so I could remark the coloured parts) you have to scratch with a coin the parts of the world you've been to, in order to see where you've been. And so I did. The parts you see in colour are all the parts I've been at the last 16 years, which is all my life.

And when I ended up stratching, I took a look at it... That was it? Didn't I forget any place? I was overwhelmed. The places I've been, looked like everything for me, like I've been to a lot of places, and seen everything, but it wasn't until I stratched them that I noticed how little I knew about the world. How small is my own personal world if we compare it to the immensity of the earth.  And it made me think quite a lot of how much I have left to travel and how many things I ought to do before I die, and I felt so small but so ready at the same time.

And that is why today's picture is this map.

Besides that, today I'm extremely tired. I came home, took a nap, studied and went rushing to the gym and I worked out quite a lot, now I'm exhausted!

Day 111

I'm not really pleased with this one, I didn't want a plain wall background so I went to a room but I ended up having something similar (If not worse), but oh well, I wanted to show you my new t-shirt which I actually like a lot.

I've been thinking that any picture is better than actually not taking the daily picture, and if maybe today I don't take a good picture tomorrow a good one might come out, or in two days, or in a week or...erm... someday?

Today I did plenty of things, so I'm exhausted. At morning I had school and later when I came home I rested some minutes. (Note to self: resting chilling on the bed listening to indie music might not be the best if my main aim is to study afterwards and not to take a nap)

Anyways, today I can proudly say that it has been an efficient and not wasted day, and what feeling is better than going to sleep knowing that you made the best out of the day?

Day 110

Today I decided to do something a little bit brighter than usual, so there you have it!

It was actually cold outside, even though we're in the middle of spring I could sense a quite strong wind that made of  taking pictures a quite difficult task, and the ice cream was slowly melting!

When I woke up this morning I took my little doggy for a walk, later I decided to take this picture and spent some hours with it, I should have studied something but I just couldn't do it, I guess that we all need a free weekend without any kind of complications don't we? 

Patricia will come soon and we'll watch High School Musical to remember old days, such an awesome film it was! (I'm not being sarcastic)

Day 109

Today when I woke up I had to do an economics project, and I was so rushed that I forgot to put the index into it, and now I think I'll have to make all the photocopies again, ohhh my goodness. Anyways.

Later I started to study, but I found out that I wasn't able to do so, I would just get unfocused all the time, so I decided to go to the gym and at least make a little bit of sport which I need, a lot of weeks eating and studying makes me want to get outside my house as much as I can. So that's what I did. I went to the gym and did some swimming. I love the fresh sensation after the shower, I feel worked out and good with myself. 

Once I arrived home Manu rang me and we decided to go for a walk to do something, I knew he would bring his skate and he wanted for a long time to have pictures of him skating, so I brought my camera too! Jimmy and El Venzal came too so it was an amusing evening. It was really windy and no one was on the street so it was quite depressing though. Anyways, everything's better than having to stay at home!

Day 108

You took my light, you drained me down…That was then and this is now.-Katy Perry

This picture is 80% hair and 20% face so I find this funny for some reason! 

The picture had a really high ISO and it was almost impossible for me for the annoying noise not to notice, plus the eye looked really blurred so I had to take a picture of my eye afterwards and paste it here, sometimes while I edit picture I feel like a butcher. Seriously. 

Day 107

It's been said that love alters everything. 

Everything you had is likely to fade, to move, to crash, to dissappear, and you won't even notice it. It's like a drug, you only care about it, and what meant the world for you, slowly started to lose its meaning. 

I have to go back to the start. To the very beginning. To that night. I want to rewind and mend everything. I want to tell myself ‘Hey, you better not smile to him, or he might take everything away, you are better off without him’. But I was, as a matter of fact, happy.

He was chasing me, I was so naïve! Nights started to get longer, days would become brighter and an amount of memories would be made within days, and I didn’t appreciate it on his fullest. If I could only come back, to one of those nights, and talk with that person I knew, If I could only find a little bit of warmth towards me nowadays, if I had held him stronger, been more quieter, moved faster.

 Such a stranger he is, and now everytime I look at the calendar i feel shivers down my spine; how has he achieved so much in so little time? How couldn't I be aware of all the time that has passed, without me getting over him? Why am I so scared of the few weeks that I have left? It feels like a countdown. Twenty people might me able to take his place, I just need his conversation.
His words, his scent, his touch won’t linger on so easily.

But it must. How did he make such a deep bound in me? Weeks keep passing and I'm still defenseless. And in the middle of all this chaos, I notice that I did not only fail at love, but at this project.

I've received some e-mails from people asking me why was my project frozen, and they were worried because they didn't know what was wrong. I was wrong. I forgot about my biggest passion because of a boy. I'm still wrecked from the inside out. I had a lot of fun. I could spend days writing everything I've done while I wasn't here. But now all of that is unimportant, I need to mend myself. I need to come back. And I hope you can all forgive me for all this matter.
I don't know when everything will go back on its course, I don't know if I'm ready to take a picture every day again, but I'll try my best.

Let's keep making stuff.