GM Photography blog

Day 148

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Lately I've been feeling kinda down. Like I was lacking of something. Like a whole. I didn't feel fully happy, and I knew the answer right away; I have a thing with photography, and that thing is that it's my life-time hobbie. Is the thing I love the most doing in the entire planet, it's my way of self-developement, the thing I use to challenge myself, the thing that I want to improve the most. And if I spend a long time without creating things I'm proud of, I feel sad. It's like I'm damned to be unsatisfied forever; I can look at a folder and see a lot of pictures that I'm proud of. I can make a masterpiece (I'm not saying that I had, just an example) and yet, if after some weeks I hadn't created something I'm proud of. All of that will totally go into waste because I won't feel as if I'm satisfied as a person. 

So I had this feeling for a long time now, and I decided to develop an idea I had in mind for months, more than half a year probably. Today I decided that it was the day where I was going to be proud of myself once again. And I can happily say that I kinda succeeded. 

I covered my rooms wall with a lot of newspapers and spent like two hours taking pictures, re-arraging newspapers and just enjoying something that would have been a boring Monday morning if I wasn't doing that. I have more pictures to upload and this is not the main picture of the photoshoot, but it's the one I decided to edit the first, so there you have it!

Also, there is one important matter I wanted to talk about:

Today I was flicking through this blog and I found out a comment that I missed when reading them, so it was the first time I read it. It was from some months ago but it kinda stroked me. It was from a girl who said that she likes my pictures but was kinda disappointed because I just stopped submitting pictures to the project. I just can't explain how bad I felt when I read that comment because it was totally true. I disappointed myself too, and it's something that I don't think I'll ever forgive me for doing so. I just started to think of all those days in which people would enter here to see my daily picture and had found nothing and I felt like the stupidest brat in the planet. But guys. There is something I need you all to know. I'm an human. I'm not perfect in any way. I just mess up things, my life is sometimes a chaos, my mind is sometimes a chaos and I just can't cope with everything. It's not that I just decided to leave this project, or I got bored of photography. I love this place. I love sharing not only my pictures but my thoughts and my writings to all of you. I love knowing that some of you actually takes their free time to check out my stuff and every time I receive an e-mail of any of you saying that you like my project or to cheer me up I am the happiest wrecked girl in the entire planet. So I hope that you understand why sometimes I don't submit the pictures at the right time and I hope you forgive me for being the way I am sometimes. Hehe.