GM Photography blog

Day 169

Friends. I tend to remember them when everything goes away and they help me, they take care of me, they cheer me up, they make me realize that I might not be as fucked up as I think I am.

These lasts days, I've written more than ever. Pages and pages. To my friends. Talking about my feelings, thinking and over thinking any little thought I had in mind and turning it into a long text. I'm explaining myself more than ever. My mind is naked, there is no dusty corner, there is not a space that is left without being shouted out loud. I think I'm growing as a person. Today, in fact, tonight, I'm realizing how much I've changed these lasts months. Maybe this last year. I'm not how I used to. I think I'm growing up. It's kinda ironic to say that when I still do childish and dumb things, but I think that I'm becoming mature. I don't know how to explain this, but I just find that I have a way of thinking that I didn't have before, I know how to comfort people, I know how to express myself in the correct way. I'm not flattering me or saying I'm becoming supercool, I'm just pointing out something quite obvious if you come to think about it when you're sixteen. You are close to the university. It's normal that everything change. And even though this relationship is slowly killing me, I know that it will last, as they all do, and I will move on. With new ways of seeing the world, with new frustrated dreams, with everything.

I still have a lot to learn, I still have to find out more things. I need to actually live. 

Okay. So this is what happens when you're in the middle of a sentimental crisis and you listen to 'Yellow' by Coldplay over and over while you write.