GM Photography blog

Day 107

It's been said that love alters everything. 

Everything you had is likely to fade, to move, to crash, to dissappear, and you won't even notice it. It's like a drug, you only care about it, and what meant the world for you, slowly started to lose its meaning. 

I have to go back to the start. To the very beginning. To that night. I want to rewind and mend everything. I want to tell myself ‘Hey, you better not smile to him, or he might take everything away, you are better off without him’. But I was, as a matter of fact, happy.

He was chasing me, I was so naïve! Nights started to get longer, days would become brighter and an amount of memories would be made within days, and I didn’t appreciate it on his fullest. If I could only come back, to one of those nights, and talk with that person I knew, If I could only find a little bit of warmth towards me nowadays, if I had held him stronger, been more quieter, moved faster.

 Such a stranger he is, and now everytime I look at the calendar i feel shivers down my spine; how has he achieved so much in so little time? How couldn't I be aware of all the time that has passed, without me getting over him? Why am I so scared of the few weeks that I have left? It feels like a countdown. Twenty people might me able to take his place, I just need his conversation.
His words, his scent, his touch won’t linger on so easily.

But it must. How did he make such a deep bound in me? Weeks keep passing and I'm still defenseless. And in the middle of all this chaos, I notice that I did not only fail at love, but at this project.

I've received some e-mails from people asking me why was my project frozen, and they were worried because they didn't know what was wrong. I was wrong. I forgot about my biggest passion because of a boy. I'm still wrecked from the inside out. I had a lot of fun. I could spend days writing everything I've done while I wasn't here. But now all of that is unimportant, I need to mend myself. I need to come back. And I hope you can all forgive me for all this matter.
I don't know when everything will go back on its course, I don't know if I'm ready to take a picture every day again, but I'll try my best.

Let's keep making stuff.